Magician?

Although ben cant do magic its good to try. unlike ben, drew and co. im not aspiring to be a magician and do cool tricks... somehow i dunno y... i rather do flourishes and become a professional flourisher(no such thing though) and give up on magic tricks cos i have non-existant showmanship and i rather show my skill in beautiful flourishes without words than in magic tricks which i either flash badly or cant explain well at all. T_T well actually if i train i can achieve showmanship and magic skills but i like flourishes better!!!